A small piece of mozzarella in a snappy tuxedo stepped onstage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Grand Ballroom aboard the Tub 'o Luv, the greatest cruise ship cheesekind has ever seen. On behalf of Captain Weasel, I'd like to welcome you to our Follies Revue, starring the dairy world's greatest singer/songwriter, the enchanting Miss Glenda Gouda!"

The curtains opened and out stepped the most beautiful piece of cheese John had ever laid eyes upon.

"Now that is 100 percent homogenized dairy goodness," Mel whistled.

Episode 4