Once onboard the Tub ‘O Luv, they found themselves inside an expansive room with a glittering chandelier, a sumptuous carpet below their feet and fine wood paneling on the walls. John was stunned at the luxury.

So was Mel. "Curdle me," he swore. "This ‘ere tub’s a fancy one, ain’t she?"

"Ahh, welcome to the Tub ‘o Love! So glad to have you aboard!" a booming voice greeted them.

To the right of John’s group was a line of cheeses in snappy white uniforms, the ship’s officers. All five of them had huge grins plastered on their faces and simultaneously cut off a snappy salute. John briefly considered returning the salute but settled for a nervous smile instead.